Sunday, March 04, 2007 // 10:55 AM
just came back from tuition
and munling didnt come today
for dunno what reason
i'm going out later!
but i cant go to miss chan's house ):
i want to go lah
i heard she is gonna give us expensive and nice chocolates
yum yum.
school is still as stressful as ever.
lessons that last till like 4+ really makes me wanna die
my march holidays is gonna be filled with loads of maths
we have so many practise papers
and there are loads of tuition work to do as well
i hope i know how to do them haha.
i guess i'm feeling better already
i want to have a positive attitude!
theres no use brooding over things thats happen.
i'll just have to do better the next time round hehe
i've seen people just breaking down on the spot
because they got scolded during practise
and they just cannot get the movements right
when i see things like this happening,
somehow i feel so sad for them
and i know how they feel
its like you are already trying so hard
and you really wish to do well
but somehow you just cannot.
but despite these,
after some practises,
when you hear teacher saying things like you've improve
and you are doing really well,
you feel over the moon.
you dont really show it on the outside
because you dont want to appear as arrogant
but deep inside you
you know you are happy
and just...contented.
its these kind of feelings that makes you want to do better and better and even better.
your passion for dance just pushes you to go on.
i really want to perform now.
the make-up, the costumes, the hair,
the stage, lightings, backstage.
rushing here and there,
standing behind the curtains waiting for it to start.
i just love the backstage happenings
its like no matter how tired you are,
on stage, you must look as if you are bursting with energy,
you must present the best to the audience.
and the moment you step behing the curtains,
you are panting like crazy, trying to catch your breath so that you have more energy for your next appearance onstage.
and when it is your cue, you jump back onto the stage and dance.
its all these moments that makes me love performing so much.
you really feel the bond,
that common goal everyone backstage have.
putting in your best effort
showing the audience the result of those hard trainings and struggles we have to go through
and those pains we felt,
mentally and physically,
but never complained.
it feels totally wonderful hearing the loud applause of the audience.
its like the iceing on the cake.
you feel as if your hard work really paid off
and you feel appreciated.
when i was in denmark,
i was really touched by the audience.
they were SUPER enthusiastic towards us.
and even though they didnt understand a single word of chinese
they clapped SO ENTHUSIASTICALLY and cheered for us!!
it was like....so heartwarming.
they were people from many many different countries.
even when we entered the dinner hall.
everyone clapped so loudly for us
i was kind of shocked,
because i didnt expect that at all.
i guess its because everyone who went there is a performer themselves
so they know how tough it is,
they know what happens behing the scenes.
they understand, and all they could do was to give you every bit of their support.
you feel really appreciated.
and when people come up to you,
to congratulate you on doing a great job on stage.
you feel happy.
and i mean really happy (:
i can't really describe the feelings in words,
but its like when you think of all the pain you had to go through,
it didnt matter at all.
but ultimately,
the best part of everything is all the sweats, pains, faliures, bruises and many other more,
including those long hours of trainings behind a performance
and ofcourse, friendship (:
chinese opera.
chinese dance.
i love the chinese culture.
i want to perform on stage for the rest of my life.
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