Monday, February 08, 2010 // 9:45 PM
5 more days till i go home!
i can't wait for tmr's chinese folk class and wed's technique skills class to be overrrrrrrrrr
the class i look forward to the least. for the time being hahah
the weekend has been really nice. I love spending time with my mother.
Even though it rained heavily the whole day yesterday, it didn't dampen my mood at all.
We didn't do anything special exactly. just walked around hongkong, went to eat lots of good food, sat around together at home doing nothing, caught a movie too.
The time has been short, but i really cherish every single minute of it.
she went home today, but i shall not complain too much because i'll be going back to Singapore this saturday. I CAN'T WAIT!!!
okay but still got lots of work and things to be done before going home. must finish doc and tech and go through folk + shen yun + tech skills.
i'm tired.
i don't know why, school has been tiring and after school i just want to come back home to rest.
i feel really anti-social during this period of time and i think all my classmates will soon stop talking to me because i'm being such an outcast in school. I don't know why i'm like that and i don't know what exactly is my problem but i hope i don't affect the people around me with my usual moodiness in school.
i can tell that each and everyone of my classmates in school are trying their best to stay happy and lively despite the tiring schedule that we have and sometimes i wish i could be like them. joke around, laugh at stupid things and do stupid things together, but why am i stopping myself from being like that? i don't know..i'm just.....not in the mood.
I'm going crazy and i think no one can help me but myself.
i'll try i'll try. Okay i'll try.
I've been a bad friend to my best friend recently too. I haven't been spending much time with her and i'm not there when she needed someone by her side. I'm really sorry. I don't know what is wrong with me.
and i don't know what to say to anyone anymore
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Thursday, February 04, 2010 // 9:25 PM
have been trying to pass these few days as fast as i can,
trying not to think too much about home too.
somehow school has become so mundane.
i'm just repeating the same thing everyday.
walking to school, attending classes, walking home.
i'm not exactly happy, but i'm not THAT sad either.
i just need something new and exciting to hype me up a little.
i think i've been a really bad tempered girl recently and i'm so sorry to all my friends who had to put up with me. which is why i don't talk so much sometimes because i think i'll just piss everyone off if i say something wrong again.
there is dance day at yuen long this saturday and initially i was going to perform for it, but today brenton said that i can't dance because i'm not a local student. and my heart just sank when i heard it because after yesterday's rehearsal for dance day, i began to look forward to it. I was so looking forward to tomorrow's rehearsal and saturday's performance.
its like the moment i think of it, my mood felt a little better because it was something different for once and even though i was feeling so tired to take technique class and rehearsal today, i told myself that at least i get to go for a fun rehearsal tmr and perform site specific on saturday at the dance day for HKAPA. it managed to get me to focus on my tired body to work through those exercises.
but now i'm just so sianed that everything is so screwed and nothing ever seem to work out for me. I'll still be going for technique+contemp+repertory tmr as usual...doing the things that i can never seem to do properly.
My mum is coming to hongkong today and she'll be reaching in about an hour or so.
I'm really happy that she is here and i wish i could spend more time with her really.
I don't know what we'll do, where we'll go, but i'm happy being with her.
listening to corrinne may's songs reminds me of the times back in Singapore.
sitting in the SBS bus going home at night.
I'm finally going back to Singapore next saturday.
I may not sound excited, but inside me, i'm secretly excited to be home.
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