Sunday, March 17, 2013 // 12:36 AM
心好烦，心好烦。 was so upset yesterday. in no mood for the whole day, until rehearsal it was better when i got to play around. i feel like i'm sleepy but i really can't get to sleep. my brain just can't stop working T.T having greys anatomy to look forward to really made me feel better :) 要自信点，自信点！
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Saturday, March 02, 2013 // 12:07 AM
its 11pm and i can finally sit down and chill a little. today has been a really long day. a really bad long day in fact. the day didn't start out well in the morning and as the day went on, it didn't get any better either. i honestly don't know what went wrong in technique. folk was just..not ready for solo and new big fan which i cannot control properly yet, when yu laoshi said that i had a very smooth life, i really really want to, at that moment tell her NO straight in the face. it just shows how much you don't understand me, so don't judge me like you know my whole life and relate it to how my dancing sucks. when you ask me what can make me cry, i just want to look you in the eye and say, THIS FREAKING CHINESE STREAM. but ofcourse i didn't, because i am a coward. Lunch was just..didn't have lunch at all. jazz just wasn't jazz, it was more of ballroom, yes i've always wanted to learn ballroom but i mean i didn't sign up for jazz to get ballroom, i signed up for jazz to get jazz(this might just be the angsty me talking)then rep was just nothing because i'm honestly non-existant in this piece and rehearsals for this piece just further emphasize my non-existance.had to rush to chor rehearsal after that. well at least there was progression in the choreography(one tiny good thing finally)but the dancing just wasn't there. no quality, just moving arms and legs to complete actions.(but thats kind of my problem because i can't bring myself to shout/ be sarcastic to them to show my displease. i just honestly hope that my faith in their professionalism will be shown onstage. *please dance it properly T.T* )
okay enough ranting about today. have an audition early tmr. really last minute but no harm trying lah. am free anyway. i don't know what to do for my solo. not prepared argh. oh speaking about not prepared, i am super scared for yuze's chor 1. tried practising it yesterday and omgggggg i suck. confidence level just dropped 1000.
i just want to listen to 9.33fm now and not have to think about school. ok right after i typed this sentence, i just receive a msg about the complicated and fustrating problem regarding the clash of timeslot for chor 进台. seriously man..
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