Tuesday, February 26, 2013 // 10:53 PM
Been having many sleepless nights, kinda miss those days where rehearsal for wazu and cadence can get me sleeping the moment i lie down on my bed. Thankfully i have running man to accompany me through the night :p
I'm quite scared and worried for my piece for chor 2 and also dancing for yuze's chor 1 piece. i am so gonna screw up onstage man T.T okay must practise must practise, must put in more effort ruimin and try your best up till performance day. realise i only have 3 more months left in this school. heart sank just thinking of it.
busy month coming up, am excited :)
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Sunday, February 24, 2013 // 11:46 AM
Felt a little wasted last night. but managed to walk home from central. was dizzy but am clear headed. i kind of don't understand why people like to feel this way, its so 辛苦 and not relaxing, makes me feel like i can't dance because i can't even control myself properly. but the drinks were nice last night :) slept till now, because i just don't want to get up so early. i wished we have school everyday though, am getting tired of these relaxing weekends. okay fine i do have assignments to complete, and i started on research project yesterday only to find myself reading my alien language notes that i don't even understand now. have to borrow the dvd from gary gorden again :(
am getting a little nervous about choreo, hope tmr's rehearsal will be productive and that i can get the last part done. and hope the lighting and SM will be okay with everything when they watch rehearsal tmr. hope music comes soon. oh crap and still got grad show proposal............................
miss having genuine friends around.
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Saturday, February 23, 2013 // 12:06 AM
Other than worrying about after grad (though its getting me nowhere really),I'm really excited to jump back into dancing. I'm happy that there are so many things happening soon, as much as i feel unprepared for open day, choreographic workshop, dance 2, i'm still secretly happy that there is so much dancing to be done.I can definately feel the effects of not dancing for cny hols, ifreakingcan'tstandproperlyinclass-.- but i tell myself to give myself some time, some time to recover, just take it at my own pace. i don't mean slow down and slack off, but just give me my time to feel. 有些事是急不来的. I love classes in school, and this sem is mostly dancing classes and only one research paper to worry about academically (dang i haven't touched it yet. okay i will do it soon)
I feel different about my learning in school. All along i've thought that hard work pays off. and paying off means getting opportunities to perform, or getting a deserving GPA, but these 5 years here taught me otherwise. This semester i just want to learn, and try not to get so affected by all the biasness and unfairness this stream brings. So really, paying off means being a better dancer, to feel your body benefiting from all the work and sweat that you put in, thats my reward, and i know i'll be happy. I'm not giving up, i still yearn for the opportunities, and i'll make an effort for it but i just want to enjoy dancing again.
I hope i'll be more daring, be it in class, in my learning, in performing, in taking a stand for the right beliefs. I just wanna cherish every dancing day in school. i hope i'll be blessed with courage.
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