Wednesday, November 30, 2011 // 7:41 PM
finished school especially early today
its really a once in a lonnggggggg time.
how often can i see the sun when school has ended.
i know this leaves me no excuse to say that i have no time to do all the endless homework
but i really don't want to write essays already.
sorry but i'm not gonna do my homework tonight!
i rather have videoing every class.
tomorrow we are videoing centre stuffs, hope i don't blank out.
its so weird to be home so early.
最近感觉身体使不上劲，整个人很重，肌肉都很紧。
when is she gonna change our position in the centre.
i really cannot do full out for all the side traveling because i'm really less than one metre away from the piano -.-
seriously. and i super cannot see what pei laoshi is doing infront, there is just too many people that i have to try to look past -.-
we should have studio 6 permanently.
感觉好陌生，真的变了太多了。
这样反反复复的应付，你也应该累了吧
可能是我心里还存在着万分的不甘愿
因为我一直以来都相信我们曾经拥有的友情是永恒的，
曾经拥有的依赖是温馨的，一点也不过分
但变化。。。是那么的奇妙，转眼间，就可以发生
朋友好像是为了“朋友"这两个字而做朋友
话题少不用紧，但当在沉默中就能感到不自在时，我发现，事情的转变有多大
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Tuesday, November 29, 2011 // 10:04 PM
Haven't felt this tired during technique class already.
It may be the nerves today, or the lack of sleep(but i didn't sleep late)
but i was tired halfway during barre already.
made some silly mistakes during videoing technique today, but it was great fun,
to be able to work and sweat like this, its satisfaction.
wish we could have 2 technique classes everyday (with break in between though)
i think its so amazing to learn and feel about your body.
i don't want to be left back in the class anymore,
i wish we could change positions during barre and centre once every 2-3 days,
i don't wanna be squeezed in the corner, i don't wanna have to move myself every 10 seconds so that i can see what the teacher is demonstrating.
i'm short,so please put me infront for my own sake.
had advising with pei laoshi yesterday,
didn't really expect anything out of it, but i don't know what or how did i feel like i wanted to open up to talk about myself, and sitting side by side with my classmates talking about things like these, it feels like we're more than just schoolmates, we're people who will take time to learn more about each other not because we have to, but because we want to. I like this class of girls that we have, i like eatting together, shopping together and talking together(despite the over-bitching of some stuffs) when pei laoshi asked me “你觉不觉得你们五个现在感觉是比较一起的了”，i really felt like “一直都是” because as far as i can remember, we've always thought about each other's feelings whenever we do something.
There are just so many tests and assignments due, i think i need more brain to complete them.
I have no idea how to go about doing 动作起承转合的用力方法，don't know how to complete an essay discussing the 10 year development of a professional dance company, don't know how to survive the many role play and presentations for korean, italian and science. and i'm so gonna die for tomorrow's korean test.
its almost the end of this semester, but school is still as complicated as ever.
I can't seem to manage to take things one step at a time, because my pace is too slow in this fast paced environment.
wish i could be a smarter dancer
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Wednesday, November 23, 2011 // 10:17 PM
I suppose everyone isn't exactly having a good time in school recently.
so many things have happened. and lately there has been far too many quarrels and bitching going around the dance school
lessons have been back to normal this week.
feels weird because i do miss production week.
舞台的感觉真好。
好想天天只上专业课，再累也好。
不要再上文课了，怎么那么多功课啊。
the end of Dance 1 is a sign that the semester is coming to an end.
and i feel like i still have so much to work on and improve during technique, folk and shen yun.
I don't want the semester to end with myself being at this standard. 现在真的很想跳舞跳到累死，也不想早点回家做功课。
已经差不多一个学期了，都还觉得基训课要求好高，我想达都达不到。我已经努力紧，就算get到好慢，都希望裴老师你不好放弃我，多点帮我，你劳我都好，吾好吾理我。
听日录影希望会过得顺利，千期吾好紧张啊李瑞敏！
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Monday, November 21, 2011 // 8:31 PM
Dance 1 is finally over
would be lying if i said i don't miss it.
The production week really passed faster than i thought.
even though i feel that we do a lot of sitting down and sloppy rehearsals,
but to be honest, i really do feel that our final product is something that is worth the lyric theatre and time of our audiences.
i really love how traditional and old fashion this dance is, and i'm really glad that i have the opportunity to be part of this piece with all the fun people to go crazy with. i'll miss being able to seriously play onstage and laugh from the heart. I love how united and encouraging we are onstage. I know outside of the stage some of us may have opinions about each other, but i'm really happy that whenever it comes to performing and dancing, we're all a team and we'll help each other out, leave personal problems aside, and we'll do our best, for the audience.
I may not have as much opportunities as the guys or some of the seniors to play a part in this piece. but i'm satisfied. and i'm contented with what i get to dance.
I remember how lousy i felt after the first performance when i fell from the ariel cartwheel because i was really doing fine for all the rehearsals the whole week before that. I know i wasn't stable to begin with but at the very least i was stable for the whole week before the actual performance, and to think that i fell during the performance was quite a blow to me. It's painful on the knees, yes. but its even more painful on the heart. it was more of a disapointment than anything else.
I must be really down on my luck, to have injuries just before performances, first the sprained ankle for cadence. now this. the second and third performance was better, but i still wasn't doing it right for the ariel. It must really be my problem, i guess for the two days of performance, the only thing that worried me is the ariel and it sucks to have to feel this way. I really honestly feel like the ariel can cost me my satisfication for the performance.
I tried so many times before the final performance to make sure that i was warmed enough because i knew that it was my final chance to make it right. and seriously, i've never ever felt so much pressure for any performance before. I know that if you look at the performance as a whole, the ariel is nothing and is not even worth a cent, but as a dancer, it is so important to me and i couldn't get my mind off it. I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy the backstage fun when i know that after the three performances i still didn't do it well. it sucks.
but i really really wanted this opportunity and i really don't want it to go to waste. I remember right before the final performance, i couldn't stop thinking about it at the sidewings and i just couldn't calm myself down. i want it so badly.
and when its finally time to go onstage, to say the truth, i was really really stressed, not scared, but stressed. performing was fine because we've done it so many times that it really comes naturally, and when it was just 5 seconds before the ariel, i was really praying so hard, so hard , so hard.
then when i just ran and jump, i'll never forget how it felt in the air, and landing with enough time and height. my heart just burst with excitement. It sounds stupid, but i'm really proud of it. and i swear i could just burst out with tears of joy and excitement at that very moment.
I'm really happy and thankful. It may just be a stupid ariel cartwheel,and it may seem like i'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but to me, it feels like i've challenged and conquered myself as a dancer on my own basis, and i finally managed to complete it onstage for an actual performance. Thank you so so much. I really leave this dance with no regrets :)
These few days has gotten me so hyped up about learning and dancing. I really wanna work so much harder for school and dance classes, I miss pei laoshi's scolding and sarcarsm really, and i feel like i need all the help i can get from the teachers in school. because really, i know they mean well.
I was really too foolish in the past to feel that they're only capable of scolding and complaining. I really hope our classes get more strict and that the teachers don't give up on me. 我真的很想学习，求求你们不要放弃我!
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