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chasing
the dreams






Saturday, October 27, 2007 // 2:58 PM

first week of the exams are over
but there are still like 2+ weeks
ahh i shall just be contented that the first week is over
but i dread the third week!
2 literature papers in one day?!
I AM SERIOUSLY WORRIED.

oh but yay mr gobby was there to visit during history(:
seems like praying only works half way huh hah!

i can't believe time is passing so slowly these few weeks
its good in a way...take things slowly,
don't really have much problem to think about
other than the big "O"s
yea 11 more papers whee...
i'm so happy...yah right.

nevermind,
i shall force myself to love it.

O LEVELS ARE THE BEST!!!!!! YAY (:

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007 // 3:14 PM

so...the exams started just a few days ago.
i couldn't really get to sleep the day before the first paper,
dont know why, maybe cos i'm excited? or worried?
haha.

but still, in less than three weeks i will be FREE!
yay!!
but i still have to endure these three weeks though.
i dread humanities papers, i worry for them, alot.
hope the topics i studied will come out! *crosses fingers*

and its "great" to fall sick during this period of time.
what great timing right?
my head had been spinning for a few days already
and its so super duper irritating.

hope everything goes well!

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Saturday, October 20, 2007 // 5:04 PM

i'm back from school
today was our school's open house
but i went there with junyi and rose to find mr chan to ask him quesitons haha..
quite pathetic lah, people go there to play
and we are there to study haha.
but nevertheless, i did had a little fun at the shooting range and the dance booth

i'm going for dinner later with my family,
cos its my maid's birthday!
hahha

its like two more days to the o'levels
everyone jiayou bah.
must remember to sleep early
and don't wake up so late as well haha
i'm gonna survive through this whole period (:

and i still don't know why i'm thinking about it today.
i just don't understand myself sometimes.
i can be so much better,
and i will prove it
beacuse i want to be the best.

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Friday, October 19, 2007 // 11:58 PM

sometimes i just don't know why i get so easily affected over things.
i hate it, but its how i feel, how am i suppose to not feel it?

i don't know
sometimes i don't know how to react to the situation.
am i suppose to smile and get over it?
or maybe it happens because of a reason?
am i suppose to keep a straight face?
i dont know...its just so confusing..
its like...so fake...

i am a very ambitous person.
i mean, who is not right? 
its like who wants to be the worst?
deep down you know that you want to be the best,
even if not the best, you will want to be better than others what.
thats human,
its this feeling that you have that makes you feel like striving harder

competition is everywhere

sometimes a few simple words can just hit you down so hard.
and i don't know why i am even taking it so seriously,
i know its meant for my own good,
and it does not exactly mean that i'm such a loser.
but somehow, i just feel affected.

i know that in such situations,
i should not be here blogging and whining,
in fact, i should treat it as a learning point and try to improve
but i have my pride. and ofcourse i will feel a little hurt.
i just need to complain a little, thats all.

however, i am still very sure that i will still put in my best efforts
after all, i'm doing it for myself.

but please. just give me a break.
i'm tired of all these competitions.
i'm sorry but i'm having a very low moral at this point.

i have very big dreams,
but is it wrong to dream big? 

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Thursday, October 18, 2007 // 7:51 PM

four more days to the o'levels.
its kind of fast eh?

went back to school today to ask questions,
haven't really been in school for quite some time.
and being in school today had a totally different feeling.

quite nice i guess,
being able to be with my friends,
doing work together
and laughing over stupid things.
haven't had such a laugh for a period of time
at least i don't feel alone in this whole "o level period"

i miss studying in a secondary school
and i kind of regret not studying harder in the past.
but its too late to regret right,

so i shall try my best for the o'levels haha
its what really matters (:

and my decision is wavering again.
i don't even know what i want
i don't even know whats best for me.
im so indecisive lah.

maybe i should just go for it,
maybe not?

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Saturday, October 13, 2007 // 2:52 PM

ahh so everyone is celebrating "exams over"
but im stuck at home.
but nevermind.
I LOVE TO STUDY (:
(i need to physco myself abit arh, make me feel better)
but if you think about it,
its just one more month and then its over
and i'm sure i'm gonna miss the o'levels after that,
so must as well cherish it now yah?

its good that elizabeth is back!
haven't seen her yet though.

and THANK YOU nicole,
for sms-ing that your exams are finally over just right after your exams,
but sad to say, you failed to make me jealous hah (:

so, the feeling of muscle aches never felt so good
i'm happy that we did a teeny weeny bit of ji1 ben3 gong1 yesterday.
because i haven't really done any since a zillion years ago,
which explains the fats thats appearing in my body
and my in-flexibility.
but oh well, i'm still loving dance (:
(and studying)

i've reached the 'red zone' of my countdown
because there is only nine days to the o'levels!
so fast, yet so long.

its four years of secondary education, just for this big moment.

somehow, i don't even dare to think about dance anymore.
its like a restricted zone inside my head,
i know that i can never think about dance.
well, at least i'm not suppose to.
but my heart is burning for it
its difficult you know.
when will this inner conflict ever be resolved...

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Thursday, October 04, 2007 // 7:16 PM

alas.
after almost four years in xinmin,
the dreaded day had finally come.

the last day in xinmin. *inserts sad music*

oh man,
its like you've never thought about this day until it comes
as what rose said, when they took down all the classroom deco today
its like the class is so empty,
and the feeling of leaving this class suddenly strikes you.
i miss 405.

all the good times and bad times we've been through as a class
being the biggest class ever in xinmin's history,
i've definately had alot of fun there.
haha it seems so much had happened to our class in the past two years.
i remember always getting scolded by every single teacher,
because our class's results are like....erm...hahah.
and every teacher telling our class
"hmm this class is quite difficult to handle because it is such a big class"
hahah and i'm really grateful to my wonderful teachers,
always spending more of their time to mark our pieces of work because we got so many people

and all the fun we had as a class in so many school events,
working together as a class and clinched SO MANY AWARDS throughout these two years
its like unknowingly,
a strong bond was forged between the whole class

hahah remember all the funny moments we had during lessons with the teachers
making stupid jokes out of anything possible.
always keeping on a cheerful face during lessons no matter how stressed we felt inside

always being so enthu about everything,
even the most stupidest thing hahah
i really enjoyed every single moment i had with the class.

and ofcourse,
all the friendships forged in 305/405
the ones who got through these two years with me in the class
my si2 dang3 junyi and rose.
helping each other out in every way possible
hah. ALL THE LAUGHTER! i'm gonna miss it.

i never thought i will miss this class so much,
but i guess you'll never realise until you really lose it
and now, i truly miss 405 and our teachers.

haha, this school had provided me with such an amazing experience in every single aspect of my secondary school life

tmr is the last day i'm going to have my official normal lessons in xinmin
last time having morning flag raising with the school too.
i'm definately going to cherish it more than ever,
my last day having normal lessons as a secondary student
and then off we go on our study break, seeing each other only on days we have our exams.
jiayou bah, 405
we are no longer that lousy class we were last year.

remember,
"everything we touch turns into gold"
shine on!

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