Thursday, March 08, 2012 // 11:46 PM
felt like i went through a rough day.
its been such a roller coaster ride, i really wish Hong Kongers should complain less and help more.
choreographic workshop showing today.
it's really a relieved that my piece is over, now i just have to dance for skinny's piece tomorrow which i really hope i don't screw up :x
I feel like i've been so harsh on my dancers but i really try not to get so worked up because i know its not gonna help if i'm any more anxious.
was really nervous before my piece and standing at the lighting&sound cue room really made the whole atmosphere seem so much more grand and important.
But i'm contented with my piece. I'm really thankful that i have such wonderful dancers who doesn't need me to be worried about them. I guess i could have done a better job choreographing, but i know that i've enjoyed the process and it was a pretty good first time experience choreographing for a real performance. There is always a "can be better" for everything so i guess there isn't really a best, but i know that whatever that was performed in tonight's show is a "good enough" for me.
feels like i just got a burden off my chest, but right now i'm just a little scared of facing the teachers tomorrow, it's difficult to get myself prepared for all the bad feedbacks, because i know that i will still feel upset about it.
its taking more and more effort to survive in this class and this school. i guess in some ways, i'm just not a good enough bitch to blend in the crowd.
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Sunday, March 04, 2012 // 4:36 PM
I don't know for sure, i can't tell.
but something is wrong. doesn't feel right.
another week of school has passed and i still feel like i have 697124872152 things on my hands undone.
next week will be a whole week of preparing for choreographic workshop 1
I don't want to worry about things beyond my control and i don't want to have to worry at all, but i do but i do but i do still worry alot T.T
about what you might ask, i don't even know where to begin.
I don't want to feel like could i have done this/ done that? I feel like giving notes without actually seeing them before the showing scares me. I think so much more about my own piece than the piece that i'm dancing for. Its weird, its irritating, i just want it to stop right now.
love busy school days, but i wish i was more mentally prepared for everything, it feels like everything is happening one after another, and i'm just following instead of thinking ahead. I don't want to be so overwhelmed by the busyness until i can't remember to enjoy myself.
open day next sunday and i just want it to be a nice experience for me. physically and mentally.
i want a weekend to myself please.
having serious pms. think its the stress too. but sometimes i really feel like -ppffffftttttt, who am i to say that i'm stressed -.- i'm actually living the un-stressed life in apa already. you should see the others.
but at the same time, i wish i could have more commitments, more opportunities.
yes the irony -.-
argh. mindblock. need to read 请把屁股放在头上
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