Wednesday, January 20, 2010 // 8:12 PM
this morning elizabeth told me that its the middle of the 4th week already.
for a moment i thought that time would pass quite fast, but then i thought for a while and i realised that that is not even half of the time left before we go back.
So we aren't even half way there....
class today was quite tiring in the morning, we had our first technique skills class with CC and it was just really tiring to keep having to shou1 this and that and stop forcing me to force my turn out lah, i have really bad turn out okay and i'm already working on it, i just don't want to force it anymore cos i can feel my knees are going to die on me soon.
technique skills and chinese technique felt like two chinese technique class today, when we were doing barre at chinese technique i was already quite sianned that we have to do plies and tendus again.
i'm so weak i can't find my back. and how to do the xiong1 yao1 thing on the floor??!? its so difficult cos i can't feel which strength i should use lah. and everyone seem to be doing it effortlessly.
had chinese folk after that. hua1 gu3 deng1 can be quite fun to do sometimes, but i think i cannot get the feng1 bai 2 liu3 dong4 lv4 properly. someone teach me please!!!!!!!!!
composition class was a talk+video by graeme hahaha..i'm so thankful that we get to sit down and listen to people talk and watch video. at least we don't have to do all the weird head-tail cross-lateral etc. things.
there is choreographic showing next tues and wed and i am SO NOT PREPARED LAH.
i don't want to disappoint my choreographers :(
there are so many steps to remember and i feel that i can't do them properly, especially mak's piece. I'm just not that good lah, and i wonder how arthur is able to manipulate the handkerchief and do all the cool stuffs.
i feel so bad because i cannot do so many of them and it really restricts him from choreographing movements that he wants. i think he regrets choosing me and he'll never choose me again in the future :(
ahhhh why is everything so difficult this year??!?!!?
I.CANNOT.MANAGE.OKAY
I want to be optimistic and feel motivated to improve and nail all the choreo pieces and classwork and rep, but my mood has been going down and down and i just can't seem to do it. nothing that i'm doing in school now is okay and it just sucks to feel this way lah.
seeing my classmates slowly improving and managing everything, i'm so far behind them and i just can't catch up anymore.......
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