Tuesday, February 20, 2007 // 10:11 PM
well woke up at around 10.15 today
and i watched the cctv cny countdown
it was NICE
the dances were beautiful.
reminds me of the concert that we went to watch in yunnan.
and the mo suo guy,hehes
anyway wang ya bin performed
and i love her lah
she's beautiful and such a GREAT dancer!
then did some stuffs at home
nothing much lah
my parents and my brother went shopping without me
cos i was sleeping
hahah but its okay
i like staying at home
because i get to spend time with myself
and do what i want to do
actually i was quite happy and looking forward to school tmr,
because theres cca
but once i think of the MATHS TEST TMR
my whole mood went like...DOWN ):
why must there be a test when the new year mood is like so happy
although its like a LOCI and transformation test,
i still dont like test.
okay enough of that.
i must say i learnt alot in malaysia
because my aunties and uncles LOVE to talk
and they always gather to talk.
talk about everything,
talk about their children,
the society,
moral values,
everything!!
and i just happen to sit around because i was munching at the new year goodies there,
i heard what they were talking about lah
and they said loads of very meaningful stuffs
once they talked about passion..AGAIN.
and they keep saying things like,
follow your heart,
you dont have to have a reason to do it,
you just do it because you want to
and you know its what you want.
you dont even have to think,
as long as you are happy
because its all you ever want to do.
but somehow, whats the use of saying all these.
because when it happens to your own daughter,
these words no longer exist.
i mean like, why can't you all just understand?
i REALLY REALLY want your support
and i dont want to go ahead with it without all of you cheering behind me
because i wouldn't be happy then.
i pray everytime, hoping for your aceptance,
but it never happens.
and i'm starting to lose that hope already.
i try even harder to make you realise how important this is to me
but somehow, you treat it as if i was joking.
i'm not.
everytime we come to this topic,
you tell me
" wait till the end of the year, if you still want it, then we will let you go "
it sounds so simple,
but i have a very strong feeling that you will go back on your words at the end of the year.
i'm sixteen this year.
i want to decide my own future.
not you.
all i want is your support
because i know i will work hard,
i will work very very hard,
trust me, please.
sometimes i really wished i had elizabeth's parents
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