Sunday, August 12, 2007 // 8:02 PM
hello everyone!
this dead blog shall be revived for a moment hahah
anyway, life is still the same
school is still the same.
just doing work everyday
and preparing for the prelims which is just one week away
oh man.
i dread it, but yet i want it to come faster
because that means it will end faster (:
ahh yes, dance.
i'm suppose to keep away from dance for this period of time
but its difficult you know.
i think of it everyday and i really really miss it alot alot alot.
i really really wish that exams will be over soon and i'll be able to concentrate on dancing.
as for nafa, we are already split into our exam groups
and we get to choose which ming2 jian1 wu3 we want to dance
i chose dai3 zu2 wu3 but all my group members chose yi2 zu2 wu3
and zou laoshi say the whole group must standardize
aww man! i want dai3 zu2 wu3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHH CAN I CHANGE GROUP??
its after i step down from xmcd that i realised how lucky i was in the past,
to be able to dance so many times a week
and now, i feel so terrible without dance.
i really cherish each nafa practise more and more
i dont want to lose any opportunity to dance.
and i realised, i'm deproving so much as well
i hate it.
you know i'm worried for myself
other than the o'levels,
i'm worried that i wont be able to get distinction for dance again this year
i dont have much confidence that i will be able to do it.
its like, my standard now is so shaky
it can be okay and it can be bad
what am i going to do now?
i really want that distinction alot alot alot alot
and as nicole questions herself if she is really up to it,
i question myself as well.
and i don't think that i'm actually good enough,
but i really really want to go to hkapa.
if only i was taller
if only i was thinner
if only i was more flexible
if only....
and i'm so old already, will i be able to be compared to the others there?
will they want a dancer like me?
what do i have that they are looking for?
i keep saying i want to get in hkapa
but the thing is, do i have what it takes to get in?
am i good enough ornot?
i know i know, we must mantain a positive attitude
but somehow, things that worry you will still be there inside your head
no matter how you try to chuck it at the back of the head.
it will still be there
i'm really really scared
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